Own a piece of the revolution. Literally just pieces.
Premium hoodie featuring authentic blockchain code that doesn't compile. Perfect for looking like you understand smart contracts.
Official SVG certificate proving you own USEFUL™ tokens. Blockchain-verified authenticity of your poor financial decisions.
Printed version of our 47-page whitepaper. Perfect for starting fires or as expensive toilet paper during the bear market.
Premium metal card granting you voting rights on proposals that don't matter. Includes access to exclusive Discord channels with 3 members.
Contains random USEFUL™ merchandise worth up to 0.001 ETH! Or maybe just an empty box. The mystery is the value!
Authentic air from our headquarters (my bedroom). Each bottle contains approximately 500ml of premium atmosphere with traces of disappointment.
All merchandise is conceptual and may not actually exist in physical reality.
Shipping costs may exceed the value of your entire crypto portfolio.